Money is a serious topic, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it…that’s why I put together this post of 127 funny sayings about money.
There’s no such thing as too much laughter, so hopefully, these funny money quotes will brighten your day!
The Best Popular Quotes and Funny Sayings About Money
They say the best things in life are free, and I know you could find all of these quotes on your own, but who has the time for that?!?
That’s why I’ve curated this huge list jam-packed with the funniest, most sarcastic (and even a little dark), and relatable sayings about money.
Whether money inspires you, brings you joy, or stresses you out like nothing else, we can all relate to at least a handful of quotes on this list…
Inspirational Quotes About Money That Will Make You Laugh
You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. ― Dave Ramsey
Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. ― Ayn Rand
It’s not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. ― Robert Kiyosaki
Rich people believe “I create my life”. Poor people believe “life happens to me.” ― T. Harv Eker
Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune. ― Jim Rohn
The only difference between a rich person and a poor person is how they use their time. ― Robert Kiyosaki
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. ― Will Rogers
The difference between successful people and others is how long they spend time feeling sorry for themselves. ― Barbara Corcoran
When a fellow says “It ain’t the money, but the principle of the thing” it’s the money. ― Kin Hubbard
I have not observed mens’ honesty to increase with their riches. ― Thomas Jefferson
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ― Oscar Wilde
If you’re emotional and you’re great at something, the money will follow. ― Robert Herjavec
Funny Quotes About Debt
He who is quick to borrow is slow to pay. ― German proverb
Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to. ― Greg Fitzsimmons
The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor. ― Unknown
I invested all my money in debt. ― Hamish Linklater
Running into debt isn’t so bad. It’s running into creditors that hurts. ― Unknown
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt. ― Earl Wilson
Hilarious Quotes About Investing
Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. ― Warren Buffett
The main purpose of the stock market is to make fools of as many men as possible. ― Bernard Baruch
An investor without investment objectives is like a traveler without a destination. ― Ralph Seger
If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stocks, not selling advice. ― Norman R. Augustine
The stock market is still less volatile than most of my romantic relationships. ― Someecards
One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute. ― William Feather
The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient. ― Warren Buffett
Money is the oxygen of capitalism and I wanna breathe more than any man alive. ― Leonardo DiCaprio (Jordan Belfort), The Wolf of Wall Street
Investing on paper is like reading a romance novel vs. doing something else. You’ll soon find out whether you like it. The earlier you start, the better. ― Warren Buffett
You wanna know what money sounds like? Go to a trading floor on Wall Street. ― Leonardo DiCaprio (Jordan Belfort), The Wolf of Wall Street
I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! ― Leonardo DiCaprio (Jordan Belfort), The Wolf of Wall Street
Funny Quotes About Having a Lot of Money
Rich people stay rich by living like they’re broke. Broke people stay broke by living like they’re rich. ― Unknown
I don’t care what anyone says. Being rich is a good thing. ― Mark Cuban
It’s okay to have your eggs in one basket as long as you control what happens to that basket. ― Elon Musk
There are people who have money and people who are rich. ― Coco Chanel
The goal is not to get rich. The goal is to live rich. ― Darren Hardy
If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel. ― Jonathan Swift
I am not biased against the rich because they are rich, but the most lively people are those without money who would like to have some. ― Errol Flynn
Funny Sayings About Money and Hard Work
My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. ― JP Getty
A salary is a drug they give you to forget your dreams. ― Kevin O’Leary
Entrepreneurs are willing to work 80 hours a week to avoid having to work 40 hours a week. ― Lori Greiner
Here’s how I think of my money: As soldiers. I send them out to war every day. I want them to take prisoners and come home, so there’s more of them. ― Kevin O’Leary
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. ― Robert Orben
Where there is a will, there’s prosperity around the corner. ― W.C. Fields
Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ― George Carlin
I have done some really terrible things for money… like getting up early and going to work. ― Unknown
Money Quotes That Are Funny but True
Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. ― Zig Ziglar
I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries. ― Jules Renard
The universal regard for money is the one hopeful fact in our civilization. ― George Bernard Shaw
Money doesn’t change you…it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice. ― Tim Ferris
If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice of how he acts when he loses money. ― Simone Weil
I want to get to a point in my life, financially where adding guacamole to my burrito isn’t a big decision. ― Unknown
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. ― Albert Einstein
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ― Jack Yelton
I made my money the old-fashioned way; I inherited it. I think that’s a great thing to do. ― John Raese
Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort. ― Helen Gurley Brown
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. ― Groucho Marx
The real cost of a four-dollar-a-day coffee habit over 20 years is $51,833.79. That’s the power of The Compound Effect. ― Darren Hardy
If you want to be rich don’t allow yourself the luxury of excuses. ― Robert Kiyosaki
If someone hands you a million dollars, best you become a millionaire, or you won’t get to keep the money. ― Jim Rohn
Best One-Liners About Money
Don’t cry about money. It never cries for you! ― Kevin O’Leary
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ― Dorothy Parker
Anyone who tells you that money is the root of all evil doesn’t have any. ― Anonymous
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. ― Spike Milligan
The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it. ― Donald Trump
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. ― Unknown
The best way to save money is to forget who you borrowed it from. ― Unknown
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. ― James Goldsmith
I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “you only live once.” ― Anonymous
Money is like muck – not good unless it be spread. ― Francis Bacon
The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money. ― Anonymous
I hate math…but I love counting money. ― Unknown
I’m not trying to make friends. I’m trying to make money. — Kevin O’Leary
Money talks, but all mine ever says is “goodbye.” ― Unknown
Time is the ultimate currency. ― Elon Musk
Follow the green, not the dream. ― Mark Cuban
Money often costs too much. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I wish my bank account refilled as quickly as my laundry basket does. ― Every mom on the planet
If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it. ― Anonymous
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need; if I die by four o’clock. ― Henny Youngman
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ― Earl Wilson
If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars. ― J. Paul Getty
Intaxication: Nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place. ― Unknown
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. ― Benjamin Franklin
There is only one amount of money – just not enough. ― Andy Kaufman
Virtue has never been as respectable as money. ― Mark Twain
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. ― Yogi Berra
He’s spending a year dead for tax reasons. ― Douglas Adams
You are not truly wealthy unless you earn money while you are sleeping. ― Aristotle Onassis
Top Funny Money Quotes from Famous People
Whoever said “money can’t buy happiness” didn’t know where to go shopping. ― Bo Derek
Happiness is not in money, but in shopping. ― Marilyn Monroe
Cash. Rules. Everything. Around. Me. ― Wu-Tang Clan
Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow. ― Carl Fox (Martin Sheen) Wall Street
The rich. You know why they’re so odd? Because they can afford to be. ― Alexander Know (Robert Wuhl) Batman
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ― Woody Allen
Too much money ain’t enough money. ― Lil Wayne
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made. ― Joan Rivers
If saving money is wrong, I don’t want to be right. ― William Shatner
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. ― Bob Hope
Being broke is against my religion. ― Curtis Jackson
Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options. ― Chris Rock
I was so poor growing up…if I wasn’t a boy…I’d have nothing to play with. ― Rodney Dangerfield
Success is having to worry about everything in the world except money. ― Johnny Cash
Carpe per diem – seize the check. ― Robin Williams
Money is the best deodorant. ― Elizabeth Taylor
The only thing I like more than my wife is my money, and I’m not about to lose that to her and her lawyers. ― Jon Bon Jovi
I learned in school that money isn’t everything. It’s happiness that counts. So momma sent me to a different school. ― Zsa Zsa Gabor
They say money can’t buy happiness, darlings! But it does allow you to give it away! ― Rami Malek, (Freddie Mercury) Bohemian Rhapsody
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? ― John Barrymore
Money doesn’t make you happy. I have $50 million, but I was just as happy as when I had $48 million. ― Arnold Schwarzenegger
People don’t turn down money! It’s what separates us from the animals. ― Jerry Seinfeld
The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people. ― Eddie Murphy
Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo…but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ― Oprah Winfrey
Never knew how poor I was until I started making money. ― Michael Douglas
I can’t afford to die. I’d lose too much money. ― George Burns
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. ― Jackie Mason
Funny and Wise Quotes About Managing Money the Old-Fashioned Way
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. ― Will Rogers
A budget tells us what we can afford, but doesn’t keep up from buying it. ― William Feather
I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. ― Malcolm Forbes
A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went. ― Dave Ramsey
Too many people spend money they earned…to buy things they don’t want…to impress people that they don’t like. ― Will Rogers
Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month, others just go over them. ― Sally Poplin
Quotes About the Lottery and Banking
Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. ― Unknown
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches? ― Unknown
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I’m safe from identity theft. ― Unknown
Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back. ― Earl Wilson
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. ― Robert Frost
I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. ― Roger Jones
A lottery is the perfect tax…laid only upon the willing. ― George Washington
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? ― Steven Wright
No one makes a million dollars with minimal effort unless they win the lottery. ― Gary Vaynerchuk
Money touches every part of our lives…but that doesn’t mean we have to spend our entire lives worrying about it, right?!
Which money quote made you laugh the hardest?
If you suffer from a lack of imagination, be sure to bookmark this page and come back to it any time you need some good money quotes to share at your next party!
More From Cents + Purpose
- Try These 9 Money Saving Challenges To Save More in 2023
- These Life Hacks Will Save You a Ton of Money, According to the Internet
💸 Take Back Control of Your Finances in 2024 💸
Get Instant Access to our free mini course
5 DAYS TO A BETTER BUDGET
