It’s a hard truth that we can only trust some people we meet. Unfortunately, some only really have their own interests at heart. One person asks on a popular online forum, what is a sign that someone is selfish? Here are the top responses shared.
1. They Always Want Sympathy But Never Give it
“You know someone is selfish when anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world, and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with,” says one comment.
2. They are Proud of Being Mean
“Selfish people feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others. And they bask in nicknames they’ve been given that show that, such as “soul crusher.” They think it’s funny, but it sucks for everyone else,” states one user.
3. They Never Admit When They are Wrong
“They don’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit. They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility,” one comment says.
A second user adds, “It doesn’t have to be overtly blame-y on you. It can manifest as a sense of aloofness or unawareness. It can feel like they’re just constantly unaware of their role in things. And then will refuse to acknowledge any role in things.”
4. They Don’t Acknowledge the Help They Receive, Only What They Give
“Selfish people don’t remember the times people helped them but remember clearly all the times they have helped others,” remarks one person.
5. The Conversation is Always About Them
“They have the superpower to lead everything back to themselves,” one user says. They continue, “Even when you’re actually talking about your own life or a specific problem of yours, they somehow make it that you start talking about them instead without even changing the topic.”
6. They Only Take, Never Give
One person says, “They gladly take any favors you do for them, but when asked if they could reciprocate, they get defensive and or aggressive and act like you’re the selfish one for daring to ask something in return.”
The commenter continues, “It doesn’t make you a bad person to expect reciprocation in a relationship with someone else, romantic or platonic. Relationships are give and take, and that makes them healthy. It’s not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness. If you’re the only one giving, you’re being taken advantage of.”
7. They Don’t Follow Through
“Selfish people are surprised and disgruntled when you accept what they’ve offered,” says one person. “I used to be friends with someone who loved to offer stuff. I have some cute clothes that would fit you – I can lend them to you if you want!”; or “I made such a great apple pie; I can bring you a piece!”
The look on her face when I would respond, “That would be great, thanks!” was always priceless. She never followed through with any of it, but she never stopped offering stuff,” the commenter adds.
8. They ‘One-Up’ Everything
“If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is saying to brag about themselves with a ‘one-upper’ story, it is generally a precursor to stop associating with them,” one person shares.
“I’ve met too many of them in my days, and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises,” they conclude.
9. They Never Say Sorry
One commenter says, “It takes a little longer to figure this out, but if after a few dozen hours of interactions you’ve never heard “I’m sorry,” you probably never will.”
A second user adds, “Don’t forget the “I’m sorry you feel that way” non-apology so they can claim they apologized (when they really just dismissed your feelings and took no responsibility for what they did).”
10. They Talk at You, Not to You
“Conversations don’t feel like conversations with truly selfish people. They are one-sided talks about what they want, their thoughts, their life, their priorities, etc.,” remarks one person.
Going on, they say, “When you are able to slip a word in, your words are used as transitions in their dialogue. No matter how you format your words, they all just add to the plot of their story.”
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Inspired by this thread – photos for illustrative purposes only.