A woman’s brother-in-law and sister-in-law stayed at her home twice in one year, each visit lasting less than a week. Before they arrived, her sister-in-law sent her a grocery list of organic foods for her babies and toddlers.
The woman did the shopping, but she’s still wondering whether the request was reasonable. Looking back, she can’t help feeling like her hospitality was taken for granted.
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Houseguests Twice a Year
The family came into town for different events and stayed with her and her husband both times. Each visit lasted about four days.
Hosting even for a few days can add up. Extra groceries, utilities, laundry, and household supplies can quickly increase a monthly budget.
A Grocery List Before Arrival
Before one of the visits, her sister-in-law asked her to buy specific groceries for the kids. The list included organic canned beans, whole-milk yogurt, cheese, whole milk with DHA, applesauce, and frozen broccoli.
She also asked for organic yogurt cups made for kids. Bananas were on the list too, though they didn’t need to be organic.
Organic Everything for the Kids
At the time, the woman and her husband didn’t have kids. Most of the items weren’t things they usually kept at home.
Organic groceries often cost more than conventional ones. Years ago, before organic foods became more common, the price difference was even bigger.
Leftovers Packed Up and Taken
After the visit, her sister-in-law packed up the leftover food and took it with her. The woman was surprised, since she’d paid for the groceries.
That meant she covered the cost but didn’t get to keep any of what was left. It made the request feel even more one-sided.
An Offer to Pay After the Fact
Her sister-in-law once offered to pay her back. But the offer came only after the shopping was done.
The woman says she would have offered upfront if the roles were reversed. When she’s a guest, she doesn’t ask hosts to buy special foods for her kids.
Car Rides and Favors
She and her husband also help a lot during those visits. They drive the family around, lend them their car, and help with anything else they need.
Lending a car can mean extra gas, mileage, and wear and tear. Those costs add up, even if nobody talks about them.
She says they never received a thank-you gift or an offer to take them out to dinner. That made the grocery request sting even more.
A Different Standard as a Guest
When she and her husband stayed with them once, the in-laws paid for all the groceries. But the couple hadn’t asked for anything special.
She feels there’s a difference between hosting and being asked to shop to someone else’s preferences. Especially for a short visit, she thinks guests should be flexible.
Boundaries for Next Time
She knows she could ask her sister-in-law to do her own shopping or pay in advance. She’s just wondering whether the request was normal or a bit much.
She also wants to know whether other people have dealt with family members like this. Now she’s left thinking about what boundaries she might set before the next visit, so her hospitality doesn’t come with an organic grocery bill she never planned to pay.
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