A young mom has been relying on her own mother to care for her baby while she and her husband work. Her mom has been living with them since April, earning $750 a month for about 25 hours of childcare each week.
Now her husband wants their privacy back and plans to start daycare in December. He’s suggested paying for a studio apartment so her mom can keep watching the baby, but she’s afraid that could turn into a financial commitment that never ends.
💸 Take Back Control of Your Finances in 2025 💸
Get Instant Access to our free mini course
5 DAYS TO A BETTER BUDGET
She Moved In to Help
Her mom moved in earlier this year to help with childcare. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while the couple figured things out.
Since then, she’s been watching their son while the parents work. She’s done such a great job that it’s become hard to imagine anyone else caring for him.
$750 a Month for 25 Hours a Week
The couple pays her mom $750 a month for about 25 hours of childcare each week. That comes out to roughly $7 an hour.
Compared to many childcare options, that’s a bargain. Full-time daycare for an infant can easily cost well over $1,000 a month, depending on where a family lives.
A Fear of Daycare
She’s grateful for her mom’s help because she’s scared to send her baby to daycare. Having family watch him has given her peace of mind.
Her son will turn 1 in December. That’s when her husband wants to make the switch.
Years Without a Home of Her Own
Before moving in, her mom was sleeping on a friend’s couch. Before that, she spent three years living with her son and helping care for his children.
That arrangement ended after her brother divorced and was stationed overseas with the military. Her mom later planned to return to her friend’s place, but the friend changed her mind.
Her mom also works part-time, averaging about 12 hours a week. That income alone likely wouldn’t cover rent and other living costs.
A Husband Who Wants Privacy
Her husband has grown uncomfortable having someone else living in their home. He wants their space and privacy back.
She understands that. The living arrangement was always meant to be temporary, and she doesn’t want resentment to build in her marriage.
A Studio Apartment Instead
Her husband suggested a compromise. They could rent a nearby studio apartment for her mom and pay the rent so she can keep providing childcare.
Financially, that option would still cost less than daycare. It could also give her mom stability while keeping their son in familiar care.
Cheaper Than Daycare, But Open-Ended
Her biggest fear is creating long-term financial dependence. Once they start paying her mom’s rent, she worries it will be hard to stop.
Even with clear rules and an end date, she’s afraid she’ll feel pressure to keep paying. If her mom still doesn’t have another option, she could end up supporting her indefinitely.
That could limit her own family’s finances. Money spent on rent could otherwise go toward savings, a future home, or other goals for their son.
Guilt on Both Sides
At the same time, she feels terrible about the idea of her mom having nowhere stable to live. Her mom has helped her family so much, and she doesn’t want to leave her stranded.
She’s torn between protecting her marriage and finances and helping the woman who’s been caring for her child. With December getting closer, she’s left trying to decide whether to pay for a studio with firm boundaries or send her son to daycare and let her mom find her own next step.
Featured on Cents + Purpose: