Torn by Words: How To Cope With Family Members’ Hurtful Talk

When a friend or acquaintance talks about you negatively, it can be easier to get over, but when family does, It can be heartbreaking. Your family is supposed to be the ones who love and support you unconditionally. People shared their experiences with family talking poorly about them in a popular online forum. Here is what they had to say…

1. Everyday Life

“This is everyday life with my family. I’ve lost almost all respect I had for most of them years ago. It’s one thing if they’d say it to my face, but none of them have the balls even to give me that much. This sucks because if they, at the very least, did that, my respect for them would go through the roof. But they won’t, cus they know I have just as much to say about them if not more, and they couldn’t take it,” someone shared

2. Chosen Family

“That’s why I believe family is the people I choose to surround myself with, not just blood relations. There’s a reason I only bother with one related family member. It’s because the rest of them show me less respect than the dude I simply talk and play video games with,” a person said.

3. Egg Donor

A user shared, “Not really; I was too preoccupied with what my egg donor would say to my face almost daily.”

4. Next Room

A person said, “Almost every day when I was growing up. When guests were over, my parents would start talking about me to them while I would be in the next room…Then I would come out later and tell them, “You know, I can hear everything you say about me.” and they would either shrug or they’d say, “So what?”

5. Bets

“My family made a bet on who gets pregnant first, me or my sister. We were 10 and 12 when the bet was made. Knowing that as an adult is hurtful,” someone said.

6. Envy

“I actually envy those who think their family is their home. I’ve never felt that. I don’t know if I’ll ever have a home like that, a place where I can be who I am and feel comfortable, and always welcome me whatever the circumstances are,” a person said.

7. Lazy

“My family only talks about me. I have physical and mental issues and have been medically retired since I was in my 20s. That makes me “lazy.” My parents are MAGAs, so, obviously, I’m making everything up because I want to live off the system,” someone shared.

8. Walked Away

“I walked away from my entire family because of it. I was in a heated argument with my older sister via text. I ended up telling her off. She was driving. With her three kids, my mom, and two more nephews. Somehow, I was blamed for almost causing a wreck. I wasn’t texting and driving, and had I known she was. I’d have ended the conversation until she wasn’t—just one silly example,” a person said.

9. Others

“No, but I’ve heard them talk about other family members. It almost feels as bad, I suppose. No way I could trust them,” someone said.

10. Toxic Snobbery

“My whole life. However, I’m older now with zero care to give, and I told every single one of my family members who talked about me how I felt about them. I read them like a whole damn library, closed those chapters, and burnt the library down. So much happier without the toxic snobbery,” a user shared.

11. Black Sheep

Somebody said, “Yes, I’m the black sheep and always got mental abuse. Fifty years later, it still bothers me, but in my 20s, I learned to ignore it, distance myself, and concentrate on my life and where I was going in life. By far, I am the most successful (but not rich) and well-adjusted than any of my family.”

12. Reconnected

“I left my family on not-so-great terms seven years ago when I got married. They were not in support of the marriage. I reconnected with them during the birth of my first child, their grandchild, and quickly remembered why I left,” a person said.

13. Every Single Night

“My dad would talk about me almost every single night. I left a cabinet door open. I left something on the stairs. I just existed,” someone said.

14. Dementia

“My two older brothers have told my dementia-addled mother that I am the problem. I have seen her once in six weeks. Hopefully, they let me know when she dies but probably won’t let me attend her funeral,” someone said.

15. The Aftermath

“I’ve heard people I considered family talk about me behind my back. That hurt to find out. Still going through the aftermath now,” someone said.

16. Repressed Transgressions

A user shared, “If I overhear my family talking crap on me, they best be prepared to hear my unload two decades of repressed transgressions I have on them. I’d be down to throw hands with any of them if they want to talk crap.”

17. The Worst Few Moments

“I once heard my parents talk to the admissions operator at the school I was applying to, and it was the worst few moments of my life,” someone shared.

More From Cents + Purpose

• 17 Toxic Habits To Kick That Will Drastically Improve Your Life
• 15 Truths About Men That Women Need To Accept

Inspired by this thread – photos for illustrative purposes only.