A user on a popular online forum shares her story of telling her sister-in-law (SIL) that she will not be catering to her just because she’s pregnant.
The original poster (OP) explained that her SIL is pregnant and high-risk, so she cannot work. She wasn’t able to keep her apartment, so she moved in with OP and her husband. OP said they have never had the best relationship but that she put that aside because her husband wanted to help his sister.
OP and her husband did not charge her SIL rent, and they bought all of the groceries. OP said that she and her husband live a pretty healthy lifestyle, and OP doesn’t like a lot of junk food in the house because they want their kids to have healthier options. OP said they aren’t super strict or anything; sometimes, they will buy candy or brownie mix.
OP’s SIL started asking for candy, ice cream, chips, pizza rolls, and other junk food because of her cravings. OP said that she and her husband aren’t exactly rich, so she doesn’t want to spend money on food that no one except her will eat, and she doesn’t want her kids asking why their aunt is able to have candy or pizza rolls for dinner.
OP’s SIL has also been requesting that OP make different meals than everyone else because some meals make her sick. OP said she understands nausea but says that making meals that both of her kids will eat is hard enough.
Last night, her SIL complained that OP doesn’t keep anything she likes in the house and refused to eat any of the food she made. Later, she asked OP to go get her ice cream from the store or Dairy Queen because it wasn’t in the house.
OP said she snapped and told her SIL that she and her husband were happy to help her but that they aren’t her baby daddy and will not cater to her just because she’s “knocked up.” She cried, and OP’s husband feels like he was stuck in the middle.
The Masses Weigh in
The online community was quick to support OP.
One user said, “NTA. You’re going above and beyond in allowing her to live in your home and provide quality shelter and food for her. Cravings are not necessities – they are wants. She’s in a situation where pure and simple, she didn’t prepare herself to get all of her wants. Your comment was not out of line. She’s not the first pregnant person ever, and her failure to plan is not your problem to solve.”
Another user chimed in, “NTA. She’s living in your house without contributing. She needs to stop being a choosing beggar. Also, just going to be a big meany and say it. If you cater to her, then that gives her less incentive to start planning how she will manage to eventually get out of your house and on her own two feet once the baby is born.
Another user agreed, “NTA. I think you’ve done a lot by allowing her to live in your home, and you offer her healthy, home-cooked meals. That’s a win. I get the “high risk” thing, but I work alongside a surgeon who is also going through a “high-risk pregnancy,” but she didn’t quit her job lol. I guess I shouldn’t assume anything. As a mother, I understand the cravings, but to have it all the time is a little extra. I’d hate for that type of behavior to negatively influence my kids.”
Should OP be more accommodating to her sister-in-law? Is the sister-in-law justified in her demands? How would you have reacted in this situation?
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Inspired by this thread – photos for illustrative purposes only.
Claire started Femme on FIRE after struggling with the debt cycle and realizing that she had to create better habits to get out of it. She became inspired along this journey and now strives to help others achieve financial freedom as well. When she isn’t working on her blog, you can find her on the couch with a good book, cooking up recipes in the kitchen, or playing outside with her ducks.