Middle-aged man looking frustrated

Many of us have grown up with the old-fashioned ideal that the man is supposed to be the family’s breadwinner. However, times have definitely changed, and women now have the opportunity to bring in just as much as men do – more, in many cases. In a popular online forum, men weighed in on whether they feel threatened about their female partner earning more money than they do. Here are some of the most popular responses.

1. Taking Turns

Mature couple working on their finances together
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“Nope, my wife and I are in our 50s. At various points in the last 30 years, both of us have been the bigger earners, and it’s never bothered me at all. I’ve tried to get her up the corporate ladder so I can be a stay-at-home dad, but she keeps throwing up silly arguments like WE HAVE NO KIDS,” someone shared.

2. Supporting Dreams

A couple reading a book in a bookstore
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A user said, “Nope. For about 10 years, I outearned my partner while she went to school, got her degrees, then had to do grueling grunt work till she was able to get her dream job and now makes just under 4x what I do. During that time, I supported us while she pursued her dream, and I couldn’t be happier for her. Now, she tells me all the time she wants to repay me for all the love and support I gave her during that time. We are a team, and we support each other in every way possible”

3. Enough in the Bank

Man looking at his online bank account on his laptop
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“If we have enough money combined to have a decent place to live, eat, get to where we need to be, and do some fun things, I’m good. Which of us makes more money isn’t important to me,” someone said.

4. Earning Her Way

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Someone said, “A woman I was with for a while had four different degrees and a bunch of industry-specific certifications. She made way more than me, and it didn’t intimidate me in the slightest. She’d earned her position and the wages that came with it.”

5. She Felt Insecure

Man pleading with girlfriend who looks mad
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“It upset her more than it did me, so she left for someone who made as much as she did. She resented me making less than her. It messed me up emotionally, and I never recovered. I did everything I could to keep her happy, but in the end, it came down to money,” a user shared.

6. Stay-at-Home Dad

Man holding child, talking on phone, and doing housework
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A user said, “When my wife and I got a place and started wanting to build a life together, she was going to school to be an LPN, and I was running a card/hobby shop. Everything at the shop went to hell, and her career took off, and was making great money. We had a child at home, and it made the most sense for me to give up what I was doing so she could bring in the money.”

7. Gender-Based Expectations

Woman doing dishes in kitchen
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“When I first moved in with her, I felt bad and felt like I wasn’t pulling my weight. Sometimes, I still do. At the end of the day, though, I recognize that it’s internalized gender-based expectations instilled in me by my father, that I wouldn’t think less of her if the roles were reversed, and that she loves me and loves taking care of me,” someone said.

8. A Great Understanding

Couple smiling at each other on the couch
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A user shared, “I recently remarried, and my new wife makes substantially more than I earn. It was something we talked about at some length and found common ground. We each have our own account, and each pays certain bills. The house she bought is in her name. I think we have a great understanding and it’s working great. Of course, neither of us thinks money is the number one issue in our relationship.”

9. A Better Life

Young family on the beach
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“Not at all. She doesn’t make a lot more than me, but a bit, and one day, I’m sure she will probably be making double what I make, and that sounds exciting! We will be able to afford so many vacations, a nice house, and give our kids a much better life than I had growing up,” someone shared.

10. Gift Giving

Adult daughter giving her father a gift
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“I don’t mind as long as we both have one account that is specific for the upkeep and family. She has her own money to buy whatever she wants, and I have my own. This makes gift-giving more interesting during anniversaries and birthdays,” someone shared.

11. The Care Taker

Dad giving his little kids a piggy back ride
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A user said, “Super proud of my wife. As a stay-at-home dad of seven kids, I’m proud of my wife to be able to support our family and give us all a great life. I also pride myself on being the caretaker. My wife has worked hard to get to where she is. We are a great team.”

12. Either Way

An elder couple getting ready to drink a cup of coffee.
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“There’ve been times when my wife has made more money than I have and times she’s made less. She’s my life partner. It’s never made a bit of difference either way.” someone shared.

13. It Doesn’t Matter Either Way

Couple making and enjoying a cup of coffee at home
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A user shared, “Not at all. Having two professional incomes let us do things to get ahead, which made a huge difference. She made about 20% more for the first 10 years of our marriage. My career took off later, and I make quite a bit more now, but I don’t care either way. All the money went into one account. Didn’t bother me in the slightest, but my boss was sort of old school, and I used that a little to get higher wages early on.“

14. Strive To Do Our Best

Couple sharing their best budgeting tips.
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“Currently, it’s me. But when it’s her, I’m just happy and proud of her. It’s like a mini-game to out-earn each other, even by a few pounds a month. But it’s great because we both constantly strive to do our best. Nothing bad ever came from a little healthy competition, haha,” a user shared.

15. Not Pulling My Weight

Work meeting with angry looking boss
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Someone shared, “It does not because I feel “less of a man” but because I feel like I’m not pulling my equal share of the weight. Plus, I work longer hours than she does, so she also gets to spend time with the kids while I’m at work. I’d like to work less but earn more money.’

This article was inspired by this thread – photos for illustrative purposes only.

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