When sharing our living space with someone, navigating boundaries can get tricky. When his girlfriend objects to giving up her room in the apartment while his father is visiting, one man is forced to ask, is he the a**hole for kicking his girlfriend out of her room?
The OP begins by explaining that he shares a two-bedroom apartment with his girlfriend. The OP says that his dad had come to visit for a while. He states, “My dad came to visit me for a few weeks, and I was excited to see him since we hadn’t seen each other in months. However, my apartment is already pretty full with my girlfriend living there, who doesn’t pay rent.”
“My girlfriend uses the second room as her personal “woman cave” and prefers to sleep there most nights,” the OP says. He adds, “The problem was that my dad had to sleep on the couch in the living room, which was causing him severe back pain. He’s 70 years old. Plus, it was inconvenient for everyone since we couldn’t watch TV late at night without disturbing him.”
After spending the majority of his father’s visit making him sleep on the couch, the OP finally has enough. The OP says, “I asked my girlfriend if my dad could sleep in her room for a few days, and she could sleep in my room. Seemed like a reasonable request since my dad was only staying for a few more days.”
The OP’s girlfriend doesn’t think that request is as reasonable as the OP does. “My girlfriend wasn’t having it. She didn’t want to give up her space and insisted that I should sleep on the couch or with her in her room instead,” says the OP.
The girlfriend’s suggestion of the OP sleeping in her room with her doesn’t solve anything. The OP explains, “Her bed is too small for me to sleep in, and I needed a proper place to sleep. I got upset because I felt like she wasn’t being reasonable. After all, she doesn’t pay rent, and this is my apartment.”
“She still refused and called me selfish and made it seem like I was the one being unreasonable. Eventually, I got her to let my dad stay in her room, but she kept bringing it up and making me feel guilty about it. She’s acting like I did something terrible when all I was trying to do was help my dad out,” finishes the OP.
The majority of comments sided with the OP, voting him NTA (not the a**hole). One person stated, “NTA. Your reason was completely valid, and you gave a good alternative. If she doesn’t like it, why isn’t she the one who’s going to a hotel for a few days?”
“NTA. I find it selfish to pay no rent AND have a woman cave while also telling you how to spend your money by telling you to get a hotel room for your dad instead of compromising,” agrees another user.
A third person adds, “NTA, it’s not her apartment. She just lives there for free. From what you have said, your request was completely reasonable.”
Others defended the OP’s girlfriend. One person commented, “YTA. She didn’t need a good place to sleep because it’s YOUR apartment. Yes, she doesn’t pay rent. But it’s her home, too. You can give your dad YOUR bed.”
“Your dad could have taken one side and you the other. You could have slept on the couch. You could have squeezed in with your girlfriend in her bed for a couple of nights. Your dad was your guest, so it was on you to accommodate him,” adds a second person.
Echoing similar thoughts, a third user says, “YTA, if you have invited your girlfriend to live with you and are fine with her having her bedroom, are fine with the arrangement with her not paying rent, then that’s what it is, HER bedroom. Whoever invites the guest makes accommodations.”
What do you think? Was the OP the a**hole for insisting his girlfriend give up her room for a few days? Or was his girlfriend being unreasonable with her request?