Being a new parent is stressful, and it’s a daunting task being entirely responsible for the well-being of another living thing. Many people rely on the wisdom of their parents when they are unsure of what to do in the realm of childcare. However, there are definitely generational differences when it comes to child-rearing.
When her husband gets upset at her, though, one woman asks; was she wrong to let her mom put whiskey on her baby’s gums?
The OP explains that she is a first-time mom, and her 6-month-old baby is “teething horribly.” Anyone who’s been around a teething child before knows just how fussy that can make them. While visiting with her mother, the OP asks for advice on how to help the baby.
“I was at my mother’s home a few days ago and was speaking to her about the teething issues.” The OP says. “My mom does some old fashion things, and she’s really into herbs and natural healing and such, so she wanted to try rubbing whiskey on my daughter’s gums.”
“She said she did it to all 3 of my siblings and me.” The OP adds. Knowing that her mother has already tried this remedy, the OP sees no reason not to trust her. The OP says, “I let her, and it did seem to calm my daughter down a bit.”
The relief of a calm baby didn’t last long for OP. “When I got home, I told my husband about this, and he was furious.” The OP says. The OP’s husband doesn’t trust the old-fashioned methods her mother has shared. “He said that’s harmful to our daughter, and it does not relieve any pain.”
The OP continues, adding, “He got really upset and said I shouldn’t have let my mom do something like that, and told me I couldn’t bring our daughter to my mothers anymore. I feel this is unfair.”
Wanting help to decide if her husband is being unfair or if she is at fault, the OP asks a popular online forum to help her.
Was She Wrong?
People flooded the comment section to weigh in on the situation. The most common response was NTA (not the a**hole), with most people being sympathetic to OP but encouraging her not to use the same remedy in the future.
One person said, “You made a bad judgment call here, you’re a first-time mom, so you’re naturally gonna listen to your own mother when she tries to give you advice. It’s natural to look to our elders for guidance and to trust them.”
Another person adds, “The first person many people would talk to for parenting advice is a trusted parent who has gone through these trials before. I don’t fault OP for that.”
Others reasoned that it was an honest mistake, pointing to the past lack of access to correct information. “There was no way to just look up medical evidence back then. You learned most everything from other people.” One user said.
Some felt there wasn’t one person at fault. As one commenter put it, “I would call this NAH (no a**holes here). Grandma doesn’t know better because it “worked” in the past. The mom should’ve done some research but took advice from her mother. Easy mistake to take that at face value.
Dad overreacted because he’s a first-time father and heard that something happened to his baby that he had been told was dangerous. All of these are isolated innocent mistakes.”
Some took a similar stance to OP’s husband. One person stated, “YTA (you’re the a**hole). There are MANY harmless teething options. You chose to let your mother put poison in your child’s system. A little whiskey to calm the pain of teething is one of the oldest and worst ways to go about it. Next time bring teething rings and Orajel.”
“YTA, you shouldn’t have let her do that. The fact that you don’t recognize that it was a bad idea is probably why he isn’t trusting you with the baby right now,” says another user.
What do you think? Is the OP wrong for taking her mother’s advice? Or is her husband being too paranoid?
More From Cents + Purpose
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- His Wife is Mad That He Yelled at Her Brother on Their Weekend Vacation
Inspired by this thread – photos for illustrative purposes only.